Due to their attachment style, people with this style have difficulty trusting others. The reason for that may be that they experienced a turbulent childhood, perhaps as a result of physical or emotional abuse or even just because their homes were chaotic. However, many Fearful Avoidants also had one caregiver who was occasionally available and present.

Connection feelings can be good, but being afraid of deep connections can also be problematic. As for relationships, you probably feel pretty ambivalent about them too.

Sometimes, despite your deep affection for your partner, you feel a sense of distrust and dissatisfaction… … almost a feeling that there is something better you could be missing out on, or wondering about the future. Consequently, you may experience extreme swings between vulnerability and distance, or feeling invested in your relationships but experiencing sudden doubts because of this ambivalence.

Your partners can be incredibly confused and frustrated by this, but so can you.

I am happy to inform you that you can change the beliefs and habits that no longer serve you well. If you can replace your feelings of dissatisfaction and doubt with a new way of relating to others and to yourself, your feelings of dissatisfaction and doubt will disappear…

All you need to do now is get started on that path. As a result of my experience there, I have developed a method for attracting healthy relationships into my life and maintaining close relationships with my loved ones.

And I want to share it with you.

People with the fearful avoidant personality often have what’s called “depth of processing.” This means that you might overanalyze your partner’s body language and facial expressions for signs of betrayal. Due to your core wounds relating to trust, fearful avoiders may act in advance to protect themselves against betrayals by pulling away, sabotaging relationships, or even resorting to manipulation or control.

You have a tendency to push away people the second you start feeling vulnerable as an adult because as a child, you were often afraid of being abandoned. Your way of protecting yourself might lead you to leave people before they leave you. Your way of protecting yourself might manifest in your attempt to disconnect emotionally before actually leaving a relationship.

There is nothing more frightening than losing a relationship with someone dear to you. You usually keep emotional distance between yourself and partners, despite connecting easily with them.

Often, it’s easy to convince yourself that you’re being strong and independent… …but avoiding relationships is impossible in real life.

It is difficult for you to receive the warmth, support, and connection you can receive from others when you insist on maintaining too much freedom. Even worse…

Self-reliance may cause you to spend too much time thinking about your needs instead of your partner’s. That can leave your partner feeling isolated and alone.

Even though you may tell yourself that you need your freedom and independence… …it leaves you longing for the connection and closeness you so desperately desire.